Last night, as I slipped into bed beside my already sleeping husband, I thought of her.

Last night, as I slipped into bed beside my already sleeping husband, I thought of her.

How she must have felt going to bed without him—this time, for the first time, forever.

How hard it must have been to put the children to bed without him.

How heartbreaking it must be to hear them ask for him, again and again—each time harder than the last.

How intense the feeling must be… waking up in a panic, only to realize it wasn’t a nightmare. It was reality.

How horrifying it must be to see him shot over and over again every time she closes her eyes.

How painful her chest must feel, her heart sinking into the pit of her stomach, crying herself to sleep, knowing she will never hold his hand again or gaze into the eyes of her love story and best friend.

Erika.

Know that last night, as we both went to bed, my heart broke with you.

You are loved. You are strong.

And mama, you can do this.

Even when it feels like you can’t.